Amy's FINAL LETTER to BRIAN

December 29, 2009
Brian Schofer
Akorri Networks

Dear Brian,

I will let you go if that is your wish. It is absolutely not my desire to no longer be your friend and not have you in my life anymore. I can't live without you and you don't want me in your life. The hatred and vitriol that have shown in the last few weeks are really astounding to me. Please just dump all my stuff on the front lawn in the snow. That's fine. My mother will deal with it. I just don't want to live w/o your friendship no matter how mean and demanding and how many conditions you set for me.

Whatever you think, I feel I was a good friend to you. I realize that I have acted poorly in the last few weeks to you and have hurt you but you have hurt me as well. Throwing a ten-year friendship in the gutter for a 5 week new relationship with a girlfriend that you are "not sure of" is painful for me. For me to only be able to talk to you Mon-Weds is unacceptable. For me to not be able to see you to go to the theater, the MFA, ICA, ISGM and out to dinner is also not what a friendship with you is about for me. I also do not like that I cannot call you with questions about jobs and finances (when I get them) etc. when I want to, not on your time only.

I apologize again for the postings.

I apologize for breaking the back window and trying to get into your house to get some of my things.

I apologize for moving your truck but cannot understand why it would anger you instead of just confound you in some way i.e. how did she do that (same with Amazon)

I apologize for any perceived threats to you that I may have made.

I apologize that I called your brother's house looking for you [despite the FACT that the call went unanswered—I have sent a letter of apology, btw].

The taping was not pre-planned. I did not bait you and do not even remember when you started throwing the F-bombs at me. I was appalled and just reached for my phone because knew that no one would believe that quiet, reserved Brian would ever speak like that (yet I know in the past you have done just that do me-- perhaps not for 10 minutes).

Again, though I apologized for it in front of Mark during our therapy session, I apologize for honking the horn in a rash and juvenile fashion at your work parking lot. It was out of character for me. Though I think that you cling to this thing that I did to “betray” our friendship is juvenile in itself. You can’t let a rash event like honking the horn go. You are not CEO of the company after all.


I appreciate you signed me up for Life Lock that was sweet. Thank you for the Kindle though I cannot afford books for it.
http://www.amazon.com/Kindle-Books/b/ref=sa_menu_kbo0?ie=UTF8&node=1286228011

Again, I feel it is quite inappropriate to stay at the same hotel with a woman that you stayed at for five years in a row [and spooned with and maybe even got hand jobs from] with another woman. I think if your new girlfriend found out she would be insulted and horrified. I certainly would if a boyfriend took me somewhere he took his ex-friend/ex-girlfriend to esp. considering she asked about me and must therefore be threatened by me and that is why I think you have pulled away from our friendship because this six week old dating thing is more important than ten years of friendship with me.

You will not believe it but if you read anything about depression, anger is a manifestation of depression in women and being pushed by something hurtful does not help. I'm not making excuses but my new psychiatrist believes I've been on the WRONG MEDS for a year. that could have a lot to do with my behavior and I am not making an excuse but I do have a chemical balance which you have never taken seriously, you think I use it as an excuse or can just “snap out of it.” Well, it’s a chronic condition that I manage through meds and therapy. So that makes me feel even crappier. I knew something was wrong because I have been sad for about 5 months. And worse in the last six due to your treatment of me and throwing me in the gutter and why I’ve lost 25 pounds and I’m not particularly eating. [But I do look fantastic allow my blood counts are off according to my PCP]

Also, I really appreciate the offer of paying for me to attend LPN school. I would love to do the program but obviously our "decade-long" friendship was a waste of my 30s and is OVER and you never want to see me, talk to me, and email me ever again so I am taking care of that for you. Goodbye. I love you. I loved you. I care for you. I cared for you since 1999 and I think in your heart under that icy emotionless exterior you know that and maybe care about me too.

Goodbye Brian.
Forever in your memories, Amy