Can't Fight You Anymore

I got so frustrated that you keep ignoring me and you don't want to be my friend anymore that I punched my hand through a glass window.

You didn't care. I emailed you, called you, texted you about it. You didn't respond. I needed and wanted you to take me to the hospital but I'm not longer important to you.

Once you cared about me. Just a few weeks ago you cared about me.

I give up. Go and have fun with your suburban girl-next-door.

I'll miss watching LOST with you, dinners at Indian restaurants, MFA exhibit openings, concerts at the ICA and just being able to call you. And also having you fix things for me.

Now I have no cable because Fios is not compatible with my TiVO Series 2 box even though when you were there setting it up you INSISTED it was. I would never had gotten Fios. But you canceled Comcast on me and then got MAD at me for someting and then refused to help me until you came around about the Fios which is now useless, so I'm basically paying for a service I can't use.

I WILL MISS YOU TERRIBLY. SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS. I CRY ALL THE TIME. IT HURTS THAT YOU HAVE SAID SO MANY MEAN THINGS TO ME RECENTLY. IT RIPS ME APART THAT YOU DON'T CARE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, DON'T WANT TO SEE ME AND DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME. I DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL MANAGE WITHOUT BRIAN IN MY LIFE. I'M NOT SURE I CAN DO IT VERY WELL. BUT I CAN'T FORCE YOU TO BE MY FRIEND AND EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A DECADE, TO YOU THAT MEANS LITTLE OR NOTHING.

I LOVE YOU. ALWAYS.

I MISS YOU. IMMENSELY.

I HOPE SOMEDAY YOU CAN FORGIVE ME. AND WE CAN RESUME A FRIENDSHIP THAT WORKS ON BOTH OUR TERMS.