To the guy who broke my heart: Brian Schofer (twice)

This is no knock on you having a girlfriend, I'm fine with that. I've dated plenty of other guys in the last 9 years and you have had one date. What bothers me is that you cannot remain friends with me. We have a nice ying-yang to our relationship. We balance each other off. I'm liberal and you are conservative. I'm an extrovert and you're an introvert. I'm an urbanite and you're a suburbanite.

This is just to make you think about me. NOT a diss to the new chick that you've know a few weeks. But to remember your friend you've known a DECADE.

Does she wear t-shirts, pony tails, pink hats and jeans like every other girl?

Can she write?

Is she creative?

How boring is an insurance job?

Does she like to drink as much as you [an entire bottle of wine in one sitting] and eat chicken?

Does she have blonde hair?

Would she write you thank you notes and notes "just because"?

Has she written a children’s book?

Has she been published in The L Magazine, The Boston Globe, WBUR, The Boston Phoenix and more?

Is she sarcastic?

Does she have a masters degree?

Did she graduate from a women’s college?

Is she a feminist?

Does she wear green suede shows and green vegan Doc Marten boots?

Did she introduce you to the MFA, Huntington Theatre, ART, Charlestown Working Theatre, Harborlights, ISGM, Clio, Sandrine's, Olive's, Blue Ginger and too many more restaurants to name?

Are your aunt and uncle thrilled you dropped the dead weight that is Amy Steele?

Does she have wavy burgundy hair?

Did she ride horses competitively, ski, and grow up in middle class Acton?

Has she worked on more than seven political campaigns [including President Obama, President Clinton, Senator Kerry]?

Has she volunteered at women’s shelters?

Does she volunteer for AIDs events?

Can she give a shot, perform venipuncture and take a BP?

Does she have an HIV-pos best friend?

Will she happily scrub the pubic hair off your toilets?

Is she going to cringe when she sees you pick your fingernails and toenails with pliers until they bleed?

Does she know Boston as well as a cab driver like me?

Is she a suburban vs. urban girl (but I think that makes you happier)? The big bad city is an enigma to you. That's fine but for a friend I believe you like the urban girl which is me.

Is she a non-dairy vegetarian?

Are DC4C, Coldplay, The Decemberists, St. Vincent, A Fine Frenzy, Snow Patrol, Camera Obsura, Au Revoir Simone, Dido, Doves, Howling Bells, Goldfrapp, Keane, MGMT, Sia, Wilco, The Shins, The Weepies, The Raveonettes, The Shins, Nirvana, Oh, Atoms, Norah Jones, Alicia Keys, Mistle Thrush, Lush, Curve, Depeche Mode, Conor Oberst, She and Him, Jem, Block Party, Duffy, Lily Allen, The Gossip— fave bands or bands she’s even heard of?

Has she interviewed Guy Ritchie, Aidan Quinn, Claire Danes, Damon Albarn, Juliana Hatfield, Roberto Benigni, Chris Bohjalian, Jonathan Lethem, Rian Johnson and 100s more?

Has she followed a UK band up and down the E.Coast [actually two: Jesus Jones and The Charlatans UK]?

these are just some of the reasons you were FRIENDS WITH ME. I am CREATIVE and CARING but apparently engineers want to be with a SAFE and PREDICTABLE with an insurance rep. you know I introduced you to many things you never would have even done and places you never would have gone if you hadn't been friends with me.